


variety, spice, and however that saying goes

by obstinateRixatrix



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, but like. trust me. Trust Me.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-19 20:59:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17009100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obstinateRixatrix/pseuds/obstinateRixatrix
Summary: Rewrite of 6/11-6/12; instead of staying at Leblanc, Yusuke stays at Ryuji’s place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my pal jack talked about headcanons for mom sakamoto being ex-sukeban which made me want to write something with ex-sukeban mom sakamoto...
> 
> also. full disclosure. I wanted foxskull sleepover but I’m also super invested in the hotpot party the team had for yusuke... just... pretend they had a lunch hotpot party before yusuke went like ‘by the way I’m crashing at ann’s’
> 
> thanks liz for the once-over!

Ryuji wasn’t Yusuke’s first choice. Considering the available options, Ann was the one Yusuke felt most connected to. In terms of aesthetic, hers was most notable; in terms of disposition, hers was most agreeable; in terms of artistic acumen, hers was... unrefined, but an interest had been clearly present. As someone with an apparent respect for culture— more apparent than the other members of their group— she was the ideal roommate.

Alas, it was not to be. In such circumstances, the only course of action would be to accept the outcome with grace and aplomb.

“Dude,” Ryuji says, nudging Yusuke with his foot. “You’ve been on the ground for like ten minutes. Can we go now?”

“No.” Yusuke continues lying on the ground.

“I’ll leave you behind,” Ryuji threatens, but despite the nascent nature of their relationship, it’s easy to recognize the threat as an empty one.

However. The box of assorted sweets Yusuke had bought with the last of his money certainly deserves to be enjoyed.

Yusuke gets up.

“Is your guardian partial to sweets?”

“Huh?” Before Yusuke can repeat himself, Ryuji shakes his head. “You don’t have to worry about that— mom’s gonna love you.”

It’s an ambiguous response that doesn’t answer the actual question, but no matter. Regardless of taste, anyone would be able to appreciate the artful presentation of the sweets themselves.

“Listen though, I told her this is only for the weekend. Got it?” Ryuji fixes Yusuke with a pointed look “After that, we gotta figure out something else.”

“It’d be inconvenient otherwise,” Yusuke agrees. “Ideally, I’d prefer to be closer to Kosei.”

“Not the point but whatever, we’ll figure it out. Do you need any help with…” Ryuji trails off, surveying Yusuke’s possessions. “Is this it? It’s all art junk.”

“Everything else has been claimed by the police as evidence.”

“Oh,” Ryuji says. After moment, he places an awkward but sympathetic hand on Yusuke’s shoulder. “That effin’ sucks.”

“It wasn’t much of a loss.” Although it’s the truth, Ryuji doesn’t look much reassured as they gather Yusuke’s possessions and head towards the station. They spend the trip there in mutually contemplative silence.

 

* * *

 

Yusuke’s not sure what to expect from Ryuji’s mother. Judging from Ryuji, it would make sense for her to have a similarly strong personality. Which is a deduction that’s immediately proven right. When Ryuji unlocks the door, after he calls out that he’s home, he’s immediately swept into a hug and a headlock.

“There’s my boy!” exclaims the individual that is presumably Ryuji’s mother. She places a theatrically loud kiss on top of his head.

“Mom,” Ryuji protests, though he sounds rather resigned to his fate. “Seriously?”

“It’s not every day I get to embarrass you in front of your friends,” his mother replies. She indulges in one more kiss before turning to face Yusuke, still comfortably holding her own son hostage. “And you must be Yusuke!”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sakamoto,” Yusuke greets, bowing at a suitably polite angle. “You’re rather young.”  
  
“Says the kid in high school,” she retorts with a somewhat wry lilt. “Was that supposed to be a compliment?”  
  
“An observation,” Yusuke clarifies.

Ryuji looks halfway mortified, as though he can’t decide whether or not to take affront. An unwarranted response; it’s not as if anything unflattering or untoward has been said. His mother, on the other hand, lets out a laugh. “Well, aren’t you blunt?”

“So I’ve been told.” Yusuke hands over the box of assorted sweets. “A gift, in return for your hospitality.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have!” Ryuji’s mother says, though she takes it anyway. “And don’t worry about being so formal, either. Make yourself at home!”

“Don’t say that, he’ll take it literally.” Ryuji wriggles out of his mother’s grasp, and turns to Yusuke. “Definitely do _not_ make yourself at home— I don’t want paint all over the place. But you can put your stuff in my room.”

Ryuji’s mother shakes her head, clicking her tongue with apparent disapproval. “You should've cleaned up, kiddo. How’s he going to put his stuff away if there's nowhere to put it?”

“It’s fine,” Ryuji says as he shoos Yusuke towards a room which is, presumably, his own. He pushes Yusuke in and shuts the door without following after.

As expected, much of the room is a mess. The floor— along with any available surface— is cluttered with various athletic accessories, empty plastic bottles, and stacks of magazines; Ryuji clearly did not prepare for guests. Though in all fairness, he doesn’t seem the type to feel any inclination towards tidying up regardless of visitors. Interestingly enough, the shelves of manga are kept rather neat. The piles of books in front of the shelves are not.

It shouldn’t take Yusuke much time to set his stuff to a mostly unoccupied corner, making sure necessities are easily accessible. However, he gets distracted by a large model robot sitting high atop a shelf, positioned as if surveying its domain. A benevolent guardian figure, perhaps. Or maybe it’s meant to elicit feelings of isolation? There are intriguing implications for either interpretation.

The walls are thin enough to yield faint impressions of sound, mostly the ambiance of a busy kitchen. Dinner preparations are likely underway. It’s not until Yusuke opens the door that he can hear the low murmurs of a conversation, and not until he reaches the kitchen that it’s intelligible.

“He’s a good guy, and he’s going through a rough time,” Ryuji finishes as he prepares to brush remnants of finely chopped vegetables into a wok. He must be giving a heavily edited explanation of Yusuke’s circumstances, then. “I know it’s really last second but—“

“He can stay as long as he needs to,” his mother interrupts in a gentle tone, her words almost lost as the vegetables hit the oil. The way she speaks… it’s an unfamiliar warmth, yet it’s one that tugs at some old ache.

“I appreciate that,” Yusuke says, making his presence known. Ryuji fumbles with the knife he’s holding for an alarming moment before setting it by the sink.

“Oh! Dude! You’re done! You sure took your time, huh!” Ryuji exclaims in the stilted cadence of one caught in some incriminating act. Rather unnecessary and a little confusing; why be contrite over candid displays of sympathy? Then, “You weren’t messing with my stuff, were you?”

“Good timing,” Ryuji’s mother says before he can follow up on that entirely baseless accusation— or, what would’ve been a baseless accusation if Yusuke hadn’t rearranged the placement of a few loose books. “Give me a few more minutes and dinner’s just about done. Ready to eat?”

“I’d be amenable,” Yusuke says.

There’s something striking about the simple domesticity of such an offer. A feeling worthy of rumination, but that can wait until after partaking in what is surely to be a wonderful meal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday to me... here's a chapter for yall... with a convo that's been semi-drafted since... june... thanks lex & air & liz for the once-over!
> 
> DO BE AWARE: this chapter has mentions of ryuji's father and the madarame thing, so there's mentions/descriptions of abusive situations

Dinner is a delicious and lively affair filled with engaging conversation. Ryuji’s mother delights in recounting Ryuji’s childhood antics (much to his chagrin), and Yusuke gets to expand her repertoire of stories by sharing a few recent escapades. Nothing related to the Phantom Thieves, of course, just highlights of youthful temper and tomfoolery. Such as the time he nearly got them all kicked out of a museum. And the time he nearly got them all kicked out of a cafe. And the time he nearly got them all kicked out of a bathhouse. He’s certainly making himself known to establishments across Tokyo.

It’s rather late in the evening when they finish up, and Ryuji’s sent to tidy his room at his mother’s insistence; according to her, there’s a very real possibility of Yusuke tripping over a dumbbell and breaking his arm. The scenario itself sounds unlikely, and Ryuji seems to agree, but nevertheless he acquiesces to her pointed suggestion.

After he departs, grumbling all the while, his mother clears the table. Yusuke helps, of course,  despite her decorous protests. Then, once they finish cleaning, she fetches a pitcher from fridge and a wine glass from a cabinet.

The glass immediately captures Yusuke’s interest. It’s of obviously expert craftsmanship, and its rim— finely spun— noticeably sparkles in the light. Crystal, if he had to hazard a guess. The bowl of the glass is textured in a way that evokes flowering petals; perhaps a chrysanthemum, though it’s hard to say for certain. Quite an interesting choice in design if intentional, allowing for differing symbolic significance depending on the color of whatever drink is poured. Red wine for red chrysanthemums… what a splendid blend of form and function.

Yusuke’s scrutiny does not go unnoticed. “It’s grape juice,” explains Ryuji’s mother, apparently misinterpreting his attention. “Plus blueberries, lemon, and just a bit of ginger. No booze— I quit that stuff years ago. Want some?”  
  
“If you wouldn’t mind,” Yusuke says, not one to turn down a free drink. “My thanks, Miss Sakamoto.”

“It’s Reiko. Either’s fine, though; when I was your age it felt pretty weird to call adults by their first name.” Ryuji’s mother pulls out another wine glass, one with the same design. Conveniently, this saves Yusuke the trouble of asking to examine hers.

“Do these wine glasses have some special significance?” he asks.

“They were wedding gifts.”

It’s easy to recognize the potential of a loaded subject. After all, there’s been no prior mention of a partner. No indication of one, either; from the looks of it, the living arrangements accommodate for only Ryuji and his mother. As a guest, Yusuke is keenly aware he’s intruding on a two-person household. So he waits, allowing her to set the pace for self-disclosure.

“My ex-husband hated using these even for special occasions,” Ryuji’s mother continues. “He’d always call it a waste.” She scoffs, pouring some grape-based concoction into her glass.

“I see,” Yusuke says, a fairly neutral response.

“You want to hear the rest of it?”

“Yes,” Yusuke says, definitively not a neutral response.

Ryuji’s mother lets out a laugh. “I’ve got to say kid, you’re pretty shameless. It’s kind of refreshing.” She takes a sip from her drink, a faint smile tugging at the edge of her mouth. “I used to be a no-good punk. Kept picking fights because I didn’t know what else to do. My parents were pretty fed up with me, and dropping out of high school was the last straw. So I didn’t really have anyone to turn to, except...”

Her smile takes on a mirthless edge. “I thought he was good for me. He did too. Then, he started thinking he was too good for me, and I believed him. It stayed that way for a while until I had Ryuji.”

The mere mention of Ryuji has a transformative effect. Her expression softens into an abundance of tenderness, an experience not unlike like seeing Sayuri herself.

“I realized… I didn’t want him to go through what I was going through. It still took some time— too much time— but I finally told my ex I wouldn’t take it anymore. He had to be better, or he had to leave. So he left.” She lets out a breath; not quite a sigh, but close to it. “Well, it wasn’t that simple, but that’s basically what happened.”

“I appreciate your candor,” Yusuke says. It’s not often he finds himself on the other side of such confidence. “I apologize for bringing up such unpleasant memories.”

“It’s fine now. It’s a process, but things are better. Besides,” she continues, her tone subtly falling towards a more delicate cant, “you’ve been through some stuff too, by the sounds of it.”

While it isn’t exactly an inaccurate assessment, it's one that takes him somewhat by surprise. Turnabout is fair play, so it seems.

“Don’t worry,” she reassured, “Ryuji didn’t tell me the specifics. I won’t push you to talk, but you can tell me anything.”

What a novel concept, being able to explain his circumstances to someone rather than having it exposed. Though it’s also a little… intimidating. Based on past experience, Yusuke hasn’t been the ideal candidate for defining his own situation.

“The man I thought of as my father wasn’t who I thought he was,” Yusuke starts, and already he’s mischaracterized his own complacency. “Or rather, he was who I was afraid he was— the suspicions I had ignored turned out to be true. But, truth be told… I cannot hate him from the depths of my heart.”

The admission elicits little relief. Voicing it aloud feels like a betrayal, almost; after all the hard work dedicated to extracting Yusuke from Madarame’s clutches, he doesn’t even have the good grace to sever their ties without remorse.

But, when he glances at Ryuji’s mother, there’s no confusion, no disappointment, nothing that validates his own feelings of shame. Instead, she opens her arms in obvious invitation. After a little hesitation, it’s one Yusuke takes, and he leans into her hug.

“This stuff’s never easy,” she says. “It’s natural to feel angry. It’s also natural to feel confused and lost, to miss something you thought you had. But you’ve done the hard part, kid. All that’s left is everything that comes after.”

“But do I have the strength for it?” Yusuke asks. “I can’t help but wonder... if not for the intervention of my friends, how long would I have stayed?”

She pulls away, keeping a hand on his shoulder as she fixes him with a look of consideration. “I’m not going to say it doesn’t matter. It obviously matters to you. But keep in mind, you don’t have to worry about doing this alone. You have people you can rely on.”

And it’s true. Strange as it may be, there are people in his life that would relentlessly fight to ensure his well-being. It should be an unnecessary reminder, and yet, it’s one that lifts a small measure of weight off his shoulders. Akira, Morgana, Ryuji, and Ann… since meeting them, the world has felt like a kinder place.

“Your son is quite remarkable,” Yusuke says.

“Don’t I know it.” She grins with obvious pride. “He’s a good kid, always trying to look out for everyone. I’m glad he fell in with your group.”

“It’s the opposite, actually,” Yusuke corrects. “I’m the latest addition.”

“Still, you and your friends, you’ve been good for him. After everything that happened in Shujin, I was a little worried he might follow in my footsteps,” she admits with wry self-deprecation. “I wouldn’t blame him, but still… that kid really does takes after me.”

“If that’s the case, we’re all the better for it.”

It’s a response that gives her pause. “Well,” she says, “aren’t you the charmer!” She ruffles Yusuke’s hair, something that appears to be a thoughtless gesture of affection. “Flattery will get you everywhere, and don’t you forget it.” Then, with a glance towards Ryuji’s room and a mischievous glint in her eye, “I’ve got to head out soon. Before I go, want some ice cream? I got it for Ryuji, but you can have it.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t eavesdrop sweetie, it’s not polite,” she calls, not missing a beat. An overt display of her fearsome maternal instincts.

Ryuji slides open the door, suitably chagrined, holding a rather full bag of garbage. “It wasn’t on purpose! I just finished cleaning up! I wasn’t even here that long—”

“Ah,” Yusuke interrupts, “about the ice cream?”

“Dude,” Ryuji says, shocked, betrayed, and appalled. ”Really?”

“Don’t worry kiddo, there’s enough for everyone,” she reassures. “You know I wouldn’t do that to my _baby boy.”_

“...Thanks mom.”

“Seriously though, I’m off to work. Those bentos aren’t going to make themselves.” Then, with a grin that spells an imminent attempt to embarrass her son, “Why don’t you give your old lady a kiss before she goes?”

Ryuji heaves a put-upon sigh, but offers no further resistance as he walks over to kiss his mother on the cheek. “Have a good day at work,” he says.

“It’s night, kiddo.”

“Yeah, yeah. If it wasn’t funny the first time, it’s not going to be funny the next _hundred times_ you say it.”

“I disagree,” she says. Just before she takes her leave, she turns to Yusuke; her expression is light-hearted, and yet, there’s a touch of gravity to it. “Think about what I said, alright?”

“I will,” he promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the wine glasses, I was going off [this cashs crystal design](https://www.crystalclassics.com/cashs/annestown/16216C.htm) and [this tiffany design](https://www.bhg.com/shop/tiffany-tiffany-chrysanthemum-wine-glass-cut-flower-petals-on-bowl-no-trim-pb8001cd442f0cd537d1e854cfa665d95.html). the wine glass facts are from [here](https://winefolly.com/tutorial/crystal-vs-glass-when-it-comes-to-wine-glasses/). also, the recipe mom sakamoto's using is [this one](http://www.foodvedam.com/grape-mocktail). something I wanted to work in was mom sakamoto getting a job at lala's bar but I couldn't find a good place to fit it in... alas...
> 
> I grabbed a line from yusuke's 6/12 convo with sojiro - the 'truth be told, I cannot hate him from the depths of my heart.' I really liked that scene, but it always struck me as kind of strange how throughout scripted events the emphasis is consistently on the ways madarame cared for yusuke...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so excited to post this I posted it without adding the notes... oops... anyway thanks liz & lex for the once over! at one point I sent lex the outline just to make sure the trajectory made sense and she said, I quote:
>
>> THe Bones Seem To Be IN Their Proper Joints To Me  
> I Can Already See the UNhatched Skeleton
> 
> this is a direct copy/paste of what she said.

After Ryuji’s mother departs for work it’s more or less time to turn in for the night. It’s been a full day, and Yusuke can feel a touch of exhaustion weighing upon him; he changes into sleepwear and completes his nightly routine as Ryuji does the same. Then, they retire to Ryuji’s room.

The room is much cleaner than before. Gone are the empty bottles and miscellaneous garbage, and in general his possessions are less scattered about the place. Additionally, the table has been pushed towards the TV, providing enough space for the spare futon that has been laid out beside Ryuji’s bed.

“There’s not much room,” Ryuji says, apologetic, before turning off the lights.

“I was planning on sleeping in the studio if things didn’t work out,” Yusuke replies as they settle into their respective sleeping arrangements. “This is quite luxurious in comparison.”

“What, you actually had a backup plan? And how is that better than sleeping in the Kosei dorms?”

“Out of all the options, I’d consider imposing on your abode the most appealing one.”

The bed shifts as Ryuji rolls on his side to stare down at Yusuke. It’s impossible to see his expression in the darkness, but easy enough to imagine the unamused look on his face. “Dude,” he says. “You have zero shame.”

“So I’ve been told,” Yusuke says. “In all sincerity, I had a pleasant time here. I enjoyed having the opportunity to meet your mother.”

“She’s the best, right?” There’s an unmistakable warmth to Ryuji’s tone, but for some reason it sounds almost wistful— melancholic, even. “If only…”

The thought hangs in the air, incomplete, before he turns away. “Never mind, it’s dumb.”

“Tell me anyway,” Yusuke says.

For a moment it seems as if Ryuji won’t. Then, after what feels like a small eternity, he lets out a sigh. “It’s just... she deserves better than getting stuck with a rotten kid like me.”

Hearing Ryuji dismiss himself with such a flagrantly inaccurate assessment is unfamiliar territory. Up to this point he’s been quite vocally critical of society and its biases against him, quick to defend himself in the face of such judgements; his boisterous confidence is one of his defining features.

“Why would you say that?” Yusuke asks.

“I swear I really wasn’t, like, hanging around trying to hear what you guys were talking about, but I kind of heard mom worrying over me,” Ryuji admits. “She was right, y’know. I was seriously thinking about dropping out. I mean, after everything that happened last year, didn’t feel like there was much point sticking around.” He lets out a huff, one seeped with self-directed derision. “It’s bad enough I’m always messing up, she shouldn’t be blaming herself for all the stupid shit I pull...”

Not for the first time, Yusuke’s faced with just how wrong first impressions can be; it wasn’t too long ago that he might’ve echoed similar sentiments, quick to cast Ryuji as no more than an irritating and troubled youth caught in the consequences of his own follies. But that was Yusuke’s own flawed perception of someone he didn’t know, and perhaps, wouldn’t have gotten the chance to if not for extraordinary circumstances far outside his control.

Yusuke reaches up and, through awkward maneuvering, manages to find Ryuji’s hand in the darkness.

“Uh,” Ryuji says. “I, um. Are you— what’s this supposed to be?”

“A gesture of comfort. Is there a problem?”

“I mean—? I guess not? But—”

“Ryuji,” Yusuke interrupts, “you have a tendency to tackle every problem you face with aggressive abandon. There are many times where you act long before you even begin to think.”

“I know,” he says, clearly frustrated by the reminder and its veracity.

“These are not always faults; rather, they're qualities that indicate a passionate person with no lack of initiative. Combined with your strong sense of justice… you cut quite a heroic figure.”

Ryuji scoffs. “You don’t have to say that bullshit just because I’m being dumb.”

“I'm not offering empty words of encouragement,” Yusuke says, a gentle rebuttal. “It wasn't long ago I considered myself indebted to my former teacher, a man who viewed his pupils as mere livestock. Under his continued guidance… I have no way of knowing what would have become of me.”

Would Yusuke have suffered an inevitable breaking point? Would he have been twisted into sharing Madarame’s loathsome perspective? Such questions plague him frequently. But, in the end… “I was saved from that fate, and I am grateful to every member of the Phantom Thieves. That includes you, Ryuji.”

Yusuke lets the assertion linger. It’s an important one, after all.

“Know that I consider you a dear friend,” he continues. “There are times I have needed support, and you have offered it. Likewise, there will be times you will need support, and I will offer it in turn. If you are ever in need of this reminder I’ll be glad to provide it.”

Silence stretches for another small eternity, long enough that Yusuke wonders if Ryuji managed to fall asleep in the middle of what was a very heartfelt admission. Before Yusuke can say something to that effect, he feels the hand under his own shift, entwining their fingers into a comforting grasp.

“Thanks,” Ryuji says. Though it’s a single-word response, there’s an undeniable weight to it. And with that, Yusuke succumbs to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Yusuke wakes up with a sore arm. He only has himself to blame, falling asleep in such an unnatural position; hopefully a proper stretch will mitigate that lapse of judgement.

Surprisingly, Ryuji’s rather early to rise, already up and out of bed. Perhaps a habit from his track days. Upon noticing Yusuke, he says, “Oh good, you’re up. Mom’s coming back soon so we gotta get ready to start on breakfast.”

“She works a full night shift, then?”

“Yeah, at a bento factory,” Ryuji explains. “She usually sleeps while I’m at school and wakes up when I head home.”

“A compatible schedule,” Yusuke notes.

“Anyway, enough about that, we still gotta figure out where you’re gonna go.” After some hesitation, he clears his throat. “I know I made a big deal about this being just for the weekend, but honestly, mom’s probably fine putting up with you until you find somewhere else to stay.“

It’s a generous and much appreciated offer. However, Yusuke’s already made his decision. “There’s no need— I’ll return to Kosei.”

Ryuji blinks, clearly taken aback. “Seriously?”

“I think I have a tendency to retreat to what’s familiar,” Yusuke says. “However, what’s familiar is… a little stifling.” After all, isolation and a reluctance to connect with others is what contributed to his erroneous first impressions of Ryuji and Akira.

(Though, to be fair, Yusuke’s relatively certain that his impression of Ann has been accurate so far. And there’s nothing he could’ve anticipated in regards to Morgana.)

“Perhaps it’s due to my upbringing, but I don’t know anything of the world, let alone other people. If I’m to depict people in my art, I need to learn more about them; I must interact with them more.” Not to mention… even Yusuke can acknowledge it’d be quite selfish to impose on the kindness of Ryuji and his mother to this extent.

“Thank you for being such a gracious host,” he concludes. “If you’ll permit, I’d love to visit again.”  
  
“Oh, now you’re polite,” Ryuji grouses, though there’s no bite to it— he sheds his façade of irritation easily. “Feel free to come by whenever. And y’know, you don’t have to leave right away.” He offers a smile, one that’s a little subdued compared to his usual grin. “Stay for breakfast, alright?”

“I’d love to,” Yusuke says. At the very least, he can allow himself this indulgence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the 'sleeping in the studio/luxurious in comparison' line was lifted from 6/11, and the 'perhaps it's due to my upbringing' bit is lifted from 6/12. in dsn, ryuji kind of talks about how he was thinking about dropping out of school before the whole phantom thief thing happened, and how his mom seemed more at ease when he started... having friends again... being happier... miss sakamoto I love you
> 
> also... semi-relevant... [I posted a video of basically all the foxskull lines in dsn...](http://obstinaterixatrix.tumblr.com/post/181236769870) line 224 for yusuke keeps on popping up in my head & ruining my life... yusuke sounds... so fond... my heart is soft...........


End file.
